S2E4 - Gender Roles

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What's up guys that your girl ladies
stay up. That's your boy Rob and

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we're back with another episode of Gems
and Sonneck. Tonight, we are talking

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about gender roles and how they differ
from the past than the present. The

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boy Rob is gonna tell us what
he's thinking. He got a little something

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on his mind that he want to
share. Just come on, now,

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share it. I'm going to share. Thank you. Sharing is caring anyway.

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So it kind of came up where
Shaq tweeted that he was not going

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to allow his children to get their
inheritance unless they had two degrees and the

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boys had to leave the house to
the eighteen and the girls were allowed to

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stay as long as they wanted to. Okay, so added protection for his

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daughters versus his sons. But it
doesn't necessarily add protection for the girls because

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it kind of makes them more dependent
because they're not in the thick of things

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like the boys. So you're thinking
he's putting them out a disadvantage because of

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their gender, right, like he
wants to take care of them now.

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The reality is that if they get
married, they are well off. They're

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not going to have to be taken
care of by any man by any means.

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But when you when you have a
situation like that, it seems like

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if you keep them in their own
and don't put the same pressures as the

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boys, it makes them dependent upon
a man. Okay, all right,

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deep with it tonight. And we
shouldn't do that, is what you're saying,

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Not in this day and age,
not in his day and age,

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because each like gods, should learn
how to cook, clean, you know,

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take care of themselves as well as
women should know how to cook,

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clean, take care of themselves.
Absolutely, you can't. You can't say,

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okay, well, women, they
need to figure out how to you

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know, be in the kitchen or
you know, clean up a house,

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and the man has to go out
on the group and make the money.

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These days, you know, especially
with the way the world is going,

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you need two people working just to
make ends meet. So unless you're a

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shack, Unless you're a shack,
and you know you have that talent and

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you created this empire, and then
they're your kids. You know, um,

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what's the word I'm looking for when
he um? Because he's given it

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to them entitled well off. They're
set for life. The kids and their

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kids kids are and we're not mad
at you, not at all, like

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he did the damn thing, So
you can't be mad at that fact.

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I mean, that's all we want. It's for our kids to be in

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a better position at us, right
and his kids kids kids is going to

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be in a better position. But
we hope, we hope, because somebody

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could come and blow it. Well, that's why I think he's making those

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sipulations saying Okay, y'all need two
degrees because y'all need to keep in mind

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and we have to keep this empire. Like it doesn't just stay here because

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you don't know anything just because your
name is O'Neil, right, like,

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so you have to know. So
I get the fact that you're putting these

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pressures on them, saying okay,
you have to have to We're not necessarily

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pressure because there's no real pressure in
it. It's you're not gonna get your

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narratance if you don't get I mean, there's some pressure. One of them

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kids is not a bookie. They're
not you know. I'm sure he knows

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his kids and he expects at least
and he will be like, okay,

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well I see that you're not the
person who's going to get this uh two

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degrees, but somebody better I don't. It might test them and then they

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want to be like, Okay,
well that route wasn't for you. Here's

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what I need you to do and
change your stipulation. You know what I'm

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saying. Up Ah, you know
all right, so let's bring it home.

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We have two boys, two girls. Everybody got to get out the

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house. Everybody has to get out. But they can also come back.

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But they can come home. They
can come back because you know wit stipulations.

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Well, of course, with stipulations
like you can't come here and lay

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up all day and expect like you
have to do with this. You have

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to do. You have to cook
something, you have to pay something bill.

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You better come with some money and
bring your money more. I mean,

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they can pay a bill too,
But of course that would be have

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to do that would that would they
would have to have a job to do

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that. Now, if they came
back home, it didn't necessarily have a

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job to be able to pay that
bill. So it's like, okay,

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well you gotta you gotta, you
gotta clean, you gotta you know,

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if I actually go get groceries,
I don't want hm. It has to

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be. Okay, I'm going to
get the groceries. So there has to

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be something that you're you're adding to
the pot as hard as and do we

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care who does one? As far
as gender? Are you gonna be like,

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oh, Role can't take out the
garbage? Oh Lay, can you

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do the dishes or vice versa.
No, every everybody take out the dishes.

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Everybody. Everybody take out the dishes. Everybody take out the garbage.

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Everybody can do the dishes. They
had. They all need to know how

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to do those things. I mean, and they do, and they do,

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they do. That's what I mean. I like, hey, Lay,

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take out the garbage. Garbage is
going three days later? Okay,

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all right, I'm about to say
the same thing with Ride, like go,

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Ride, I need you to take
out the garbage two days later,

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Ran take it out. No deadlines. It's a new age, I mean,

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and I'm not pressless, like all
right, I get it. Sometimes

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you forget because I forget. I
forget sometimes, so like oh yeah,

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I mean to do that. He'd
be like, oh take this out?

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Got you for good? My bad? All right. It's been those courtesies

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to them too, with these boys
and these girls, do we expect more

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or less gender wise, Like,
do we expect that the boys should be

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able to handle themself on a street
more so than the girls because I expect

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that a listen will throw down in
the streets. Well, I definitely don't

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expect. It's not based on gender. I think it's based on personality.

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It's based on personalities. Like I
just don't expect like, just because you're

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a male, should you be expected
to fight? No? Not necessarily.

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So it should take a stronger person
to walk away. So I wouldn't necessarily

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say you've got to be want to
fight? Now, if it comes down

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to it, can you fight?
You know, will you fight? It's

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a whole different story. But you
don't have to fight. So we don't

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expect them to fight based on gender. No, all right, well,

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let's let's get away what was in
the past that is now in the present

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that's not done regularly, And we
are like, okay, but we may

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still want what was done in the
past. Well, I mean in the

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past it was the man went on
to work, a woman take care as

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a home. Is that something that
you still want in the presence, be

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honest, not necessarily, because Okay, I enjoyed cooking, so I don't

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necessarily have to like like I can
go out work all day, didn't come

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home and cook and and be happy, because that's like it's relaxing. Okay,

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So I wouldn't say that you have
to keep those gender roles and be

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like, Okay, well the woman
has to. I'm gonna tell you what's

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not relaxing. Washing dishes. I
can't. I can't stand. But we

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have a problem with you think that's
why you made the compromise. I cook,

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you clean. Uh does that always
happen though? No, No,

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because I cooked and then because I
could, and there'd be dishes. Oh

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I didn't. I didn't. You
didn't make that sipulation. You just said.

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I thought that was understood. No, it's not understood. I said

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if I cook, you clean.
That doesn't mean if you cook I clean.

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What's good for the geese? Good
for again? Uh, the goose?

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They do what I say. No, you said it was good for

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the geese. Isn't good for agenda
said it was good for the geese,

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is good for agenda? No,
it's the goose. Okay, Well,

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I'm talking in plural, you know, sister wives, And we're gonna get

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to that thought, we're gonna get
we gonna we might have to get us

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a sister wife to come through these
dishes, because ain't nobody doing them.

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I don't feel about that. I
don't feel any way about them. I

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mean else it did. As long
as they have to. I will have

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a stare down with the dishes until
somebody else does. That's not fair,

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not fair because we're both working,
we're both cooking, right, So how

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the dishes gonna get done? I
think we're evenly yoked with the cooking.

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Are you making faces for the people? I'm not making faces for the people.

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But I don't know that is absolutely
the truth? Okay, I think

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we cook even am out. All
right, Who do you think makes the

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most dishes? Absolutely? You?
What? Absolutely? You? How you?

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Because when you cook, you everything? Everything, everything, and it's

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sink. When I cook, I
try to wash and use, wash and

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use. If I eat, I
try to wash and use and reuse the

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same thing you you Just yeah,
I don't know. I don't know about

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that. What I don't know about
that? All right, let's move on.

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So you don't agree that the men
should be the bread winner in the

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household. No, he can be
a breadwinner. No, I do you

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to be Yes? That's the should
be the man can if if the man,

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let's say, if the man can't
get a job and he's looking for

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a job and has to stay home, then he should be home cooking,

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cleaning, can care of the house, providing, doing, giving some kind

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of service, not just sitting home. Well, next, all I told

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they talk about can you make me
something when you get in? Okay,

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it should be. It has to
be some kind of compromise as far as

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the duties being done. Do you
think that they emasculates him? Not at

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all. A man should be well
rounded and know how to cook and clean,

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so that doesn't make him less of
a man. If he knows how

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to cook, that shouldn't make him
more of a man because he knows how

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to cook. Let's bring it back
to love is blind. Well, let's

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bring it back then. Let's talk
about your boy Marshall. She's not getting

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alpha male from him, but he's
sure could make us some pancakes with strawberry

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and raspberry, compope. Is he
making up for not being a man,

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a manly figure, an alpha male
by doing all these other things? And

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is that necessarily gonna work? I
think the problem is that she's what she's

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used to see it as an alpha
male. It is throwing off like her

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idea. But alpha male is somebody
that is going to punch you in the

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face, and you know you should
be like, Okay, this is what

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we're gonna do, and this is
how it's gonna be done, as opposed

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to somebody who is going to not
punch in the face, take care of

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the homes, take care of your
right, take care of you, and

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being a nurturing person like a man
is not supposed to be a nurturing figure

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in some people's eyes because of how
they saw men growing off. Well,

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let's bring that to you. You're
mister emotionless, mister, I don't share

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my feelings. Is that that that
was gender in the past? A man

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is supposed to be strong, no
crying, you know, no, no

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sharing of the emotions. It makes
you look weak. You still carry that

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to the present. Do you think
that's right? Or is that just because

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what you know? Oh, you
want to agree that that's you. I

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don't. I don't necessarily agree that. Like what do you mean, like

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I don't cry? Like I don't
cry just at the drop of a done.

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Oh, I don't need you to
be marshall crying at every flip five

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minutes, because that, honestly would
turn me all the way off. Like

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I do have moments where I cried. So it's not like I don't cry

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or I don't have those emotions.
It's just you don't share emotion, you

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know. Yeah, like when I
when when I got the reading from that

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girls or five years, I don't
matter, but I still told him that

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I was in their crime. Okay, Like but on a regular given day,

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on a regular regular given day past, I said, share emotion.

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You don't talk about feelings. You're
not expressive. Is that because you're an

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outa male. No, it's not
because I'm an OUTFA male. It's because

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I don't like I'm not a verbal
person. Like I'll show you the emotion

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more than I'll tell you the emotion. To me, tell you the emotion

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means nothing I can tell you anything. It's more what I show you.

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I can show you better than I
can tell you. So I have nothing

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to do with me trying to be
in this outpha male and not show or

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sharing emotion. It just not our
world. All right, let's move want

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to chivalry on the train. Should
a man get up and give a woman

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his seat? Grinds. It depends
on if the If it's an older man

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who needs the seat, should he
give up a seat to a younger woman?

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No? Okay, Now if it's
a younger man, then yes,

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you give up the seat to a
woman. Should a younger feel mail get

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up and give the seat to an
older man? Yes? So someone lays

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Age? Should she get up lay
is twenty two twenty three? Should she

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get up to give you bearded,
handsome gentleman a seat? Not me?

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When we talk, you said older
man. You are older man. I'm

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talking about older than me as an
elderly, elderly. You gotta be specific.

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Let's take out the elderly. We
going with gender roles. A man

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is supposed to open the woman open
the door for a woman, give up

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his seat for a woman. That's
not happening these days. Should that happen?

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Should someone should these twenty two year
olds get up and should he twenty

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two l twenty three get up and
give someone lays Age his seat? Yes?

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Why because that's what you understood it
to be. That's up to me,

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because that's being a gentleman. Yes, Okayard, sit and you stand

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up. Okay. So that's something
that you took from the past into the

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present and you want to keep it
that way. Yes, okay, and

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you stand on that ten toes down
all right, okay, okay. I

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agree with the the elderly pregnant.
You're looking sick, you're looking friends injured,

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definitely, But some of these little
hood rats don't deserve a seat.

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Stand up. Wait a minute,
so okay, So now you're talking about

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as far as a male giving up
a seat to a young ratchet coming in

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acting out you know, oh you
change your mind, another change. I

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never said. I never said a
little bit a young girl you're giving up

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at I would say a woman said
equal age twenty twos, twenty three's equal

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age. I'm talking about adults,
and they are adults. They're not adult.

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They are young adults. That's if
they're coming on a train and actor

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ratcher, they're not adult. Okay. So a nice classy looking young lady

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carrying herself, how we would expect
for our standards to carry themselves in the

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street. Should our sons get up
and give them the seats they can if

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they want to it's an optional thing, but it doesn't have to be an

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definite Now for older woman, yes, like somebody somebody's mother. Yes,

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now granted the twenty two year old
twenty three year old can be somebody's mother.

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Yeah, but those spry legs can
stand up and it'll be okay,

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all right, And went about the
holding the doors man should always hold the

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door. Should a lady hold the
door for a person coming behind her if

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she wanted to, But she should
absolutely hold the door. But I'm I'm

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not hit you in the face,
not necessarily just opening holding a door.

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I'm talking about like opening the door
for and let them walk through, right,

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No, I'm talking about hole the
door open, right, but the

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person. Don't let nobody get knocked
on the door. I mean in the

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face with the door. And just
so you know, young men, it

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is so nice to see and experience
when one of you actually holds the door

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open and lets the lady walk through. It is so classy. It is

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so classy. I don't care if
it was pasted. It should be present,

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it should be future. It's classy. Oh we're doing PSA's okay,

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Well, here's the PSA, young
ladies. If I hold the door for

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you and you don't want to get
hit in the back of your wig.

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Say thank you. Agree, I
agree one hundred perspect all right, what

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else? What else with the ladies
and a gentleman? That's we should keep

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or it doesn't have to be like
that anymore. I mean, well,

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we know parenting guys to stay at
home while mommy is out doing the thing.

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Right, you can hear it,
you can switch. It's just a

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matter you know which one is more
convenient at the time. Who's the better

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nurturer. We can't say a better
nurse. I'm gonna catch you. I

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thought I'm gonna get you on that
one. No, it depends on the

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person. Like I've seen some males
who are better nurturers than women. Agree,

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there are some women, well,
a lot more women that are better

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nurturers than the males. I wouldn't
say a lot more. I would say

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a lot more about just stay an
age maybe in the past. I think,

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I mean, I think we're down
the middle now because there's some women

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and you're going you to mama,
there's there there there's a lot of where's

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the empathy. There's a lot of
that are launch on a younger generation.

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Yeah, like the caring where like
you have some checks that are really um

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out there, like it's about the
paper, it's about breaking come the money

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that are not Oh yeah, I
pushed out this job because this is what

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you wanted. Now you take care
of it. And then there's guys that

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will take care of But there's also
guys that would turn their back and walk

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away and like I'm just gonna come
and give you money every once in a

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while, which money doesn't make It
doesn't raise the child, right, it

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helps the situation. It doesn't raise
the child though. Tell talk to the

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people, you know. So it's
I definitely applaud those that are fathers,

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not just the baby daddies. They
go to the daddies that's out there.

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Come in, hair coming out,
tangles, platin, singing songs, tucking

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in like seeing what's funny. It's
like you'll see stuff like that where there's

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a father that plays dress up with
his daughter or something like that. People

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like, is he less of a
man? No, he's more of a

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man because he knew what needed to
be done to make her feel special.

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Yes, talk to them, talk
to them, but you know what I

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know, like like why don't you
work like you don't know? Men like

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you never batman before. I got
a little emotion there, show it,

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show it, you know what.
Now it's time to go. Now it's

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time to say the back. It's
time to say about her all our friends

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family. No, but seriously,
I mean the gender roles have become blurred,

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the lines of blurred. Um some
good some bad. You know,

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we'd like to keep the good alive. And I mean, how we do

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that? We just pass it on
to our kids. Yeah, you got

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you gotta remind the kids, you
know, like certain things have to be

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done, you know, opening doors, pulling out chairs, you know,

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make a meal every once in a
while, because it's hard on women.

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Like what's funny is I've had to
watch the kids twenty four hours for days

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on end, and I want to
pull what hair I had at the time

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out And I'm like, you gotta
appreciate what a woman does day in and

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day out. And ladies, if
you are the breadwinner and you are the

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one going outside of the house,
appreciate that man that's doing all of that

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right. Can't make him feel like
less, stand but he's not making that

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money right if he's if he's at
home doing what he's supposed to do.

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You can't make him feel less.
Stand now, the guy is sitting there

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smoking all day, got his friends
all over in your car, running around

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and the streets all day. When
you come home or you see his dishes

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and crumbs, that's the guy you
need to talk about. The guy that

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fixed the food. He's not the
one that's the one that's taking care of

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you. So m Jacquelina, okay, boy, and marshal up when he's

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the one. He went to the
market, he made pancakes raspberry and strawberry

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car power with the powder, shook
out and served you first, served them

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first, and was like, go
ahead, go get ready, I'm gonna

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do the dishes. See, I
need me a better man than me because

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I wasn't like, um, you
need to take care of these dishes or

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you're gonna be watching them for the
next two three days as he eats the

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pancakes in my face. Exactly with
that, we're gonna keep living life from

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laughing at it. Yes, sir, we catch us one gyms in Tonic

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dot com and gyms in Tonic podcasts
on all socials. Why he got to

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look up on the air to remember. We've been doing us long enough.

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You know where we at Come find
us, be far later us