S2E4 - Gender Roles

0:05 What's up guys that your girl ladies stay up. That's your boy Rob and we're back with another episode of Gems and Sonneck. Tonight, we are talking about gender roles and how they differ from the past than the present. The boy Rob is gonna tell us what he's thinking. He got a little something on his mind that he want to share. Just come on, now, share it. I'm going to share. Thank you. Sharing is caring anyway. So it kind of came up where Shaq tweeted that he was not going to allow his children to get their inheritance unless they had two degrees and the boys had to leave the house to the eighteen and the girls were allowed to stay as long as they wanted to. Okay, so added protection for his daughters versus his sons. But it doesn't necessarily add protection for the girls because it kind of makes them more dependent because they're not in the thick of things like the boys. So you're thinking he's putting them out a disadvantage because of their gender, right, like he wants to take care of them now.

1:19 The reality is that if they get married, they are well off. They're not going to have to be taken care of by any man by any means. But when you when you have a situation like that, it seems like if you keep them in their own and don't put the same pressures as the boys, it makes them dependent upon a man. Okay, all right, deep with it tonight. And we shouldn't do that, is what you're saying, Not in this day and age, not in his day and age, because each like gods, should learn how to cook, clean, you know, take care of themselves as well as women should know how to cook, clean, take care of themselves. Absolutely, you can't. You can't say, okay, well, women, they need to figure out how to you know, be in the kitchen or you know, clean up a house, and the man has to go out on the group and make the money.

2:25 These days, you know, especially with the way the world is going, you need two people working just to make ends meet. So unless you're a shack, Unless you're a shack, and you know you have that talent and you created this empire, and then they're your kids. You know, um, what's the word I'm looking for when he um? Because he's given it to them entitled well off. They're set for life. The kids and their kids kids are and we're not mad at you, not at all, like he did the damn thing, So you can't be mad at that fact.

3:08 I mean, that's all we want. It's for our kids to be in a better position at us, right and his kids kids kids is going to be in a better position. But we hope, we hope, because somebody could come and blow it. Well, that's why I think he's making those sipulations saying Okay, y'all need two degrees because y'all need to keep in mind and we have to keep this empire. Like it doesn't just stay here because you don't know anything just because your name is O'Neil, right, like, so you have to know. So I get the fact that you're putting these pressures on them, saying okay, you have to have to We're not necessarily pressure because there's no real pressure in it. It's you're not gonna get your narratance if you don't get I mean, there's some pressure. One of them kids is not a bookie. They're not you know. I'm sure he knows his kids and he expects at least and he will be like, okay, well I see that you're not the person who's going to get this uh two degrees, but somebody better I don't. It might test them and then they want to be like, Okay, well that route wasn't for you. Here's what I need you to do and change your stipulation. You know what I'm saying. Up Ah, you know all right, so let's bring it home.

4:18 We have two boys, two girls. Everybody got to get out the house. Everybody has to get out. But they can also come back. But they can come home. They can come back because you know wit stipulations. Well, of course, with stipulations like you can't come here and lay up all day and expect like you have to do with this. You have to do. You have to cook something, you have to pay something bill. You better come with some money and bring your money more. I mean, they can pay a bill too, But of course that would be have to do that would that would they would have to have a job to do that. Now, if they came back home, it didn't necessarily have a job to be able to pay that bill. So it's like, okay, well you gotta you gotta, you gotta clean, you gotta you know, if I actually go get groceries, I don't want hm. It has to be. Okay, I'm going to get the groceries. So there has to be something that you're you're adding to the pot as hard as and do we care who does one? As far as gender? Are you gonna be like, oh, Role can't take out the garbage? Oh Lay, can you do the dishes or vice versa. No, every everybody take out the dishes.

5:26 Everybody. Everybody take out the dishes. Everybody take out the garbage. Everybody can do the dishes. They had. They all need to know how to do those things. I mean, and they do, and they do, they do. That's what I mean. I like, hey, Lay, take out the garbage. Garbage is going three days later? Okay, all right, I'm about to say the same thing with Ride, like go, Ride, I need you to take out the garbage two days later, Ran take it out. No deadlines. It's a new age, I mean, and I'm not pressless, like all right, I get it. Sometimes you forget because I forget. I forget sometimes, so like oh yeah, I mean to do that. He'd be like, oh take this out?

6:15 Got you for good? My bad? All right. It's been those courtesies to them too, with these boys and these girls, do we expect more or less gender wise, Like, do we expect that the boys should be able to handle themself on a street more so than the girls because I expect that a listen will throw down in the streets. Well, I definitely don't expect. It's not based on gender. I think it's based on personality.

6:55 It's based on personalities. Like I just don't expect like, just because you're a male, should you be expected to fight? No? Not necessarily. So it should take a stronger person to walk away. So I wouldn't necessarily say you've got to be want to fight? Now, if it comes down to it, can you fight? You know, will you fight? It's a whole different story. But you don't have to fight. So we don't expect them to fight based on gender. No, all right, well, let's let's get away what was in the past that is now in the present that's not done regularly, And we are like, okay, but we may still want what was done in the past. Well, I mean in the past it was the man went on to work, a woman take care as a home. Is that something that you still want in the presence, be honest, not necessarily, because Okay, I enjoyed cooking, so I don't necessarily have to like like I can go out work all day, didn't come home and cook and and be happy, because that's like it's relaxing. Okay, So I wouldn't say that you have to keep those gender roles and be like, Okay, well the woman has to. I'm gonna tell you what's not relaxing. Washing dishes. I can't. I can't stand. But we have a problem with you think that's why you made the compromise. I cook,

8:26 you clean. Uh does that always happen though? No, No, because I cooked and then because I could, and there'd be dishes. Oh I didn't. I didn't. You didn't make that sipulation. You just said. I thought that was understood. No, it's not understood. I said if I cook, you clean. That doesn't mean if you cook I clean. What's good for the geese? Good for again? Uh, the goose? They do what I say. No, you said it was good for the geese. Isn't good for agenda said it was good for the geese, is good for agenda? No, it's the goose. Okay, Well, I'm talking in plural, you know, sister wives, And we're gonna get to that thought, we're gonna get we gonna we might have to get us a sister wife to come through these dishes, because ain't nobody doing them.

9:11 I don't feel about that. I don't feel any way about them. I mean else it did. As long as they have to. I will have a stare down with the dishes until somebody else does. That's not fair, not fair because we're both working, we're both cooking, right, So how the dishes gonna get done? I think we're evenly yoked with the cooking. Are you making faces for the people? I'm not making faces for the people. But I don't know that is absolutely the truth? Okay, I think we cook even am out. All right, Who do you think makes the most dishes? Absolutely? You? What? Absolutely? You? How you?

10:07 Because when you cook, you everything? Everything, everything, and it's sink. When I cook, I try to wash and use, wash and use. If I eat, I try to wash and use and reuse the same thing you you Just yeah, I don't know. I don't know about that. What I don't know about that? All right, let's move on. So you don't agree that the men should be the bread winner in the household. No, he can be a breadwinner. No, I do you to be Yes? That's the should be the man can if if the man, let's say, if the man can't get a job and he's looking for a job and has to stay home, then he should be home cooking, cleaning, can care of the house, providing, doing, giving some kind of service, not just sitting home. Well, next, all I told they talk about can you make me something when you get in? Okay, it should be. It has to be some kind of compromise as far as the duties being done. Do you think that they emasculates him? Not at all. A man should be well rounded and know how to cook and clean, so that doesn't make him less of a man. If he knows how to cook, that shouldn't make him more of a man because he knows how to cook. Let's bring it back to love is blind. Well, let's bring it back then. Let's talk about your boy Marshall. She's not getting

11:39 alpha male from him, but he's sure could make us some pancakes with strawberry and raspberry, compope. Is he making up for not being a man, a manly figure, an alpha male by doing all these other things? And is that necessarily gonna work? I think the problem is that she's what she's used to see it as an alpha male. It is throwing off like her idea. But alpha male is somebody that is going to punch you in the face, and you know you should be like, Okay, this is what we're gonna do, and this is how it's gonna be done, as opposed to somebody who is going to not punch in the face, take care of the homes, take care of your right, take care of you, and being a nurturing person like a man is not supposed to be a nurturing figure in some people's eyes because of how they saw men growing off. Well, let's bring that to you. You're mister emotionless, mister, I don't share my feelings. Is that that that was gender in the past? A man is supposed to be strong, no crying, you know, no, no sharing of the emotions. It makes you look weak. You still carry that to the present. Do you think that's right? Or is that just because what you know? Oh, you want to agree that that's you. I don't. I don't necessarily agree that. Like what do you mean, like I don't cry? Like I don't cry just at the drop of a done.

13:13 Oh, I don't need you to be marshall crying at every flip five minutes, because that, honestly would turn me all the way off. Like I do have moments where I cried. So it's not like I don't cry or I don't have those emotions. It's just you don't share emotion, you know. Yeah, like when I when when I got the reading from that girls or five years, I don't matter, but I still told him that I was in their crime. Okay, Like but on a regular given day, on a regular regular given day past, I said, share emotion. You don't talk about feelings. You're not expressive. Is that because you're an outa male. No, it's not because I'm an OUTFA male. It's because I don't like I'm not a verbal person. Like I'll show you the emotion more than I'll tell you the emotion. To me, tell you the emotion means nothing I can tell you anything. It's more what I show you.

14:13 I can show you better than I can tell you. So I have nothing to do with me trying to be in this outpha male and not show or sharing emotion. It just not our world. All right, let's move want to chivalry on the train. Should a man get up and give a woman his seat? Grinds. It depends on if the If it's an older man who needs the seat, should he give up a seat to a younger woman? No? Okay, Now if it's a younger man, then yes, you give up the seat to a woman. Should a younger feel mail get up and give the seat to an older man? Yes? So someone lays Age? Should she get up lay is twenty two twenty three? Should she get up to give you bearded, handsome gentleman a seat? Not me?

15:13 When we talk, you said older man. You are older man. I'm talking about older than me as an elderly, elderly. You gotta be specific. Let's take out the elderly. We going with gender roles. A man is supposed to open the woman open the door for a woman, give up his seat for a woman. That's not happening these days. Should that happen? Should someone should these twenty two year olds get up and should he twenty two l twenty three get up and give someone lays Age his seat? Yes?

15:54 Why because that's what you understood it to be. That's up to me, because that's being a gentleman. Yes, Okayard, sit and you stand up. Okay. So that's something that you took from the past into the present and you want to keep it that way. Yes, okay, and you stand on that ten toes down all right, okay, okay. I agree with the the elderly pregnant. You're looking sick, you're looking friends injured, definitely, But some of these little hood rats don't deserve a seat. Stand up. Wait a minute, so okay, So now you're talking about as far as a male giving up a seat to a young ratchet coming in acting out you know, oh you change your mind, another change. I never said. I never said a little bit a young girl you're giving up at I would say a woman said equal age twenty twos, twenty three's equal age. I'm talking about adults, and they are adults. They're not adult.

17:06 They are young adults. That's if they're coming on a train and actor ratcher, they're not adult. Okay. So a nice classy looking young lady carrying herself, how we would expect for our standards to carry themselves in the street. Should our sons get up and give them the seats they can if they want to it's an optional thing, but it doesn't have to be an definite Now for older woman, yes, like somebody somebody's mother. Yes, now granted the twenty two year old twenty three year old can be somebody's mother. Yeah, but those spry legs can stand up and it'll be okay, all right, And went about the holding the doors man should always hold the door. Should a lady hold the door for a person coming behind her if she wanted to, But she should absolutely hold the door. But I'm I'm not hit you in the face, not necessarily just opening holding a door.

17:59 I'm talking about like opening the door for and let them walk through, right, No, I'm talking about hole the door open, right, but the person. Don't let nobody get knocked on the door. I mean in the face with the door. And just so you know, young men, it is so nice to see and experience when one of you actually holds the door open and lets the lady walk through. It is so classy. It is so classy. I don't care if it was pasted. It should be present, it should be future. It's classy. Oh we're doing PSA's okay, Well, here's the PSA, young ladies. If I hold the door for you and you don't want to get hit in the back of your wig. Say thank you. Agree, I agree one hundred perspect all right, what else? What else with the ladies and a gentleman? That's we should keep or it doesn't have to be like that anymore. I mean, well, we know parenting guys to stay at home while mommy is out doing the thing.

19:00 Right, you can hear it, you can switch. It's just a matter you know which one is more convenient at the time. Who's the better nurturer. We can't say a better nurse. I'm gonna catch you. I thought I'm gonna get you on that one. No, it depends on the person. Like I've seen some males who are better nurturers than women. Agree, there are some women, well, a lot more women that are better nurturers than the males. I wouldn't say a lot more. I would say a lot more about just stay an age maybe in the past. I think, I mean, I think we're down the middle now because there's some women and you're going you to mama, there's there there there's a lot of where's the empathy. There's a lot of that are launch on a younger generation.

19:44 Yeah, like the caring where like you have some checks that are really um out there, like it's about the paper, it's about breaking come the money that are not Oh yeah, I pushed out this job because this is what you wanted. Now you take care of it. And then there's guys that will take care of But there's also guys that would turn their back and walk away and like I'm just gonna come and give you money every once in a while, which money doesn't make It doesn't raise the child, right, it helps the situation. It doesn't raise the child though. Tell talk to the people, you know. So it's I definitely applaud those that are fathers, not just the baby daddies. They go to the daddies that's out there.

20:27 Come in, hair coming out, tangles, platin, singing songs, tucking in like seeing what's funny. It's like you'll see stuff like that where there's a father that plays dress up with his daughter or something like that. People like, is he less of a man? No, he's more of a man because he knew what needed to be done to make her feel special. Yes, talk to them, talk to them, but you know what I know, like like why don't you work like you don't know? Men like you never batman before. I got a little emotion there, show it, show it, you know what. Now it's time to go. Now it's time to say the back. It's time to say about her all our friends family. No, but seriously, I mean the gender roles have become blurred, the lines of blurred. Um some good some bad. You know, we'd like to keep the good alive. And I mean, how we do that? We just pass it on to our kids. Yeah, you got you gotta remind the kids, you know, like certain things have to be done, you know, opening doors, pulling out chairs, you know, make a meal every once in a while, because it's hard on women.

21:41 Like what's funny is I've had to watch the kids twenty four hours for days on end, and I want to pull what hair I had at the time out And I'm like, you gotta appreciate what a woman does day in and day out. And ladies, if you are the breadwinner and you are the one going outside of the house, appreciate that man that's doing all of that right. Can't make him feel like less, stand but he's not making that money right if he's if he's at home doing what he's supposed to do. You can't make him feel less. Stand now, the guy is sitting there smoking all day, got his friends all over in your car, running around and the streets all day. When you come home or you see his dishes and crumbs, that's the guy you need to talk about. The guy that fixed the food. He's not the one that's the one that's taking care of you. So m Jacquelina, okay, boy, and marshal up when he's the one. He went to the market, he made pancakes raspberry and strawberry car power with the powder, shook out and served you first, served them first, and was like, go ahead, go get ready, I'm gonna do the dishes. See, I need me a better man than me because I wasn't like, um, you need to take care of these dishes or you're gonna be watching them for the next two three days as he eats the

23:11 pancakes in my face. Exactly with that, we're gonna keep living life from laughing at it. Yes, sir, we catch us one gyms in Tonic dot com and gyms in Tonic podcasts on all socials. Why he got to look up on the air to remember. We've been doing us long enough. You know where we at Come find us, be far later us