S3E6 - Dodging Bullets

0:01 What's up, guys, it's your girl lady's thinger And we are back with another episode of gems antone. Somebody's sleeping, they're not on their game. Somebody all the time do I. I'm trying to give you a little shine, you know, trying to switch it up this season all inclusive, Right, I'm a shine bright? Okay. So tonight's episode ripped straight from Socials once again. It centers around a young lady who has been dating a guy for three years. They're in a committed relationship dating. This young man lost his job and went to his girlfriend of three years and asked her to pay his mortgage. She said no. The reason why I believe she said no is because she's just a girlfriend, not a wife. When she said no, he then came back at her with a spreadsheet of things he has done or paid for her over the last three years that have total to twenty thousand dollars. After doing so, he then broke up with her. Who is right? Who is wrong? I think the belief was on her behalf that

1:32 she's not a wife. She's not paying for the mortgage. I believe she had mentioned moving in with him to this house before and was shut down, and so therefore why would she pay his mortgage? So I think that's the backstory. What you think about that? Are you one certain about the She wanted to move in and he said no, Yes, I think he said he was not ready for that the time that she mentioned it. They are only been together for three years, so I don't know when she might have mentioned moving in. But the the simple fact is you didn't want to move in with me. Here we are. I'm a girlfriend, that's that's the status. I'm not paying your mortgage, That's what she said. He didn't agree with that cause he's done so many things for her over the last three years, totally X, Y and Z. So he broke up with her.

2:27 Guys of course were like, oh, you dodged a bullet, and the women of course were like, uh, yes, this we agree. You shouldn't be doing white things if you're not a wife. Where you at with it? Well, normally I'd be like, if you're in a relationship, you don't put no dollar amount on it. But I can see that if she tried to further the relationship and was like, hey, I wanna move in and he was like nah, now may now holding off maybe later and then turns around and this situation comes up, and then it's like now it's like, hey, listen, so you think you can let me hold something my mortgage because you know I'm out of that job. I think he has to eat that on his own. Mm. Interesting. But if if that, if that wasn't a part of the scenario, it wasn't part of the scenario, then if you're in a relationship, then I think she's wrong for if she had the means not helping him out. Hmm. But that one little conversation makes all the difference. It makes a difference in my mind because it showed that he didn't want now he may not have wanted to pursue anything further than just this girlfriend boyfriend thing, and it wasn't in furtherance of

4:00 a relationship between the two of them. So it's like it makes it a little questionable about his motives to me. So I wouldn't I wouldn't one hundred percent say like I said, because I'm totally against putting numbers on relationships. So if your mortgage was twenty five hundred and I had the means, then I can give it you. But if like I said, if it was a situation where he kind of put her off, I wouldn't feel obligated to help him out. Well, what if she asked about this move and anything within the first six months of their relationship. Here we are three years later.

4:46 Things have now progressed and he has obviously spent twenty thousand dollars, as proven by his spreadsheet that he's keeping track on. Why can't I pay this mortgage one until he gets on his feet or one time? I think it was a one time, a one shot deal that he was looking for. I mean, first of all, I think it's a real petty that you calculated all these things you did, Like who keeps track of anything like that for three years? No, less like I could. I couldn't even tell you when the last time I paid for anything within the last couple of days and how much it was. You went back three years and was like, all right, So so you pretty much hid it in your mind that you were going to use this information at some point. She sounds like doged a bullet on this because this man was holding this like this is what I did for you, and again in the relationship, it shouldn't be what I'm doing for you. You should just do for each other and then keep pushing.

6:01 So if he was petty enough to come up with twenty thousand dollars worth stuff, and then who to say if it wasn't actually even twenty thousand dollars worth of stuff? Like who says charge was right? He could have been off? Like who keeps track of how much they spent on meals or what kind of gifts they bought? You know, who's not gonna keep track and not gonna be off me? Her because she ain't paying this mortgage. Well I don't know that that she wasn't keeping track. But was she given the same as he was in the relationship? Who knows? We don't know. We didn't get that aspect that or was that possibly him trying to well, I mean he didn't. She did say he lose he lost his job, So I don't get I don't think it was a test to see if she would say it. It could have been a test. He could have still had it. He could he could have been trying to dodge a bullet. But I don't like I said to me, it's petty that he's keeping track of that type of money. I mean, not that that type of money, just those things because in a relationship, you're giving because you want to give, not because you want something in return. And if she in turn, like even if it was six months and she's like, I want to move in, she could have easily brought it back up at this time like,

7:33 well, I'm cool with that, but you know, how about in order for me to pay that, not in order for me to pay that stip. You must do this, in order to do this right, But more of a well you know what, now it's a good time to revisit, like we can move in and in that way, I don't have to pay mine and yours and you know we can go from here. That's a don't thinking right there, look at that. I'm a full adult. But you know, if she wanted to, she could have brought it up like that, had a conversation and then if he said, now I'm not ready to do that, then you're on your own with this mortgage. That's messed up.

8:16 Still no, but but it shows where he's at, like his mindset when he's like, nah, I don't want you moving in, but you will take my money so you can stay here. But it's supposed to be like, all right, yeah, come on out of desperation. Suppose he said, yeah, come on moving just because he's desperate, and then lets him move in. Yeah, we'll shoot and he's stuck, Like, if you're gonna go that far, he's he's one of a job. He got this big mortgage he gotta pay, and that's the mail ticket right there, and yeah, I'm desperate. I mean, guys, guys do a lot of things out of desperation. I'm not saying he but and I'm pretty sure that he can do it and then turn around and be like, yeah, this is not working out. Like he could piss her off and make her upset, and she'd be like, you know, I don't want to be here. No, it could be a lot of things in that scenario.

9:13 Nobody wants to be here. But yeah, I'm gonna go with If it went down exactly like that and nobody's embellishing, then she was right for not doing it for him. Wow. But if she embellished and added some extras in there, then how could she embellish what's stand embellished the fact that she ain't paying this mortgage because she is a girlfriend and he didn't want to move in with her, but again and make her wife. It's not it's not a matter of if, because you know, he's not on her timeline as far as that relationship is, because he like she may want to be married now, he maybe want he may want to be married later or not at all or not at all, and she he can't. Now, if she's willing to, you know, to be in a relationship like that, then fine, but she's not that She made that very clear. I'm not paying clear that. No, she just said, I don't live with you.

10:30 I'm not paying your mortgage. Yeah, but I'm a girlfriend and girlfriends don't pay mortgages. And now if that's the attitude, then I would say, now you want he dodged the bullet, Yeah, he dodged the bullets. Make up your mind. You can't have it all that depends on like the actual scenario. Like you you can't be in a relationship and not be willing to give because you don't know if it's going to lead to marriage. You don't know if it's going to end in marriage. You don't know where it's going to go, So you you're gonna hold off until that point, Like, how do you get to grow together if you can't be willing to sacrifice on the way. But well, that's what it is. She's a girlfriend and not willing to pay a mortgage, but why are you put She's pretty much put in the stipulation, if you want me to pay this mortgage, I have to be more than a girlfriend. She at least wanted to be a living girlfriend, which again could have been a conversation. But it was a conversation because it wasn't a conversation when at that moment it was before and he wasn't. He was like, nah, I'm good on that. Now later on, when he's in this position, he may feel a little bit different. But that's the worst time because now now I know you only want me to move in here because you're desperate, not because you want to be with me, but because you need my money and the possible So that's the

12:03 worst time. But it could also be him realizing that, you know what, I do need a partner to do this with, because he can easily say, yeah, I'm still not trying to you know, have you move in here? And then if she don't do it, then all right, I'm out, or well he chose out. He chose yeah, and he's probably out now. No, not probably out. He chose out. He broke up with her. He broke up with her. He broke up with her after right after he gave her the spreads to showed her that he spent twenty thousand. It's like, all right, I'm out. I don't know. I think he might have been just looking for an out and lying and lying about losing his job. No, no, not lying about losing his job, like he just like, you know what, I'm gonna get ahead and use this because if you're not willing to do that, and being like, if he spent all of his money, then he must have felt like she wasn't spending any kind of money. So this could have been him shying to see where she was at with it maybe, or he could just be petty betty, because twenty thousand dollars over three years ain't that much money for adults. I mean, it depends on what these adults are doing. Yeah, well they like to eat good to know. Twenty thousand dollars is not a lot. No, so not over three years and one year? Sure?

13:37 Now, yo, I spent twenty thousand dollars on you last year what are you talking about? You can't pay my mortgage for one month? Yeah I could see that. Yeah, I mean yeah, because that's that's not a lot to spend in three years. I think that could have been one trip per year. Yeah, the way you like to travel, not the way I like to travel. All right, So hmm, we're not sure who dodged the bullet air, but I'm gonna go away. She dodged the bullet because of that spreadsheet. They both dodged bullets. They just weren't meant for each other exactly. That's it. That's what they found out. Look at you. We're not supposed to be here again with nobody's supposed to no, okay, all right, Well on that note, he can't even get through it. He cracked himself out. Hi, y'all will catch y'all on the next one. Little