S3E7 - Overthinker Stinker

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What up, guys, it's your
girl Ladies Stinger and we're back with another

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quick episode of Gems and Tonic.
Today's quick pick is must an overthinker date

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a great communicator in order for a
relationship to thrive. What say you,

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Rob, must a overthinker a great
communicator? Yes, I mean it doesn't

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seem like that will work because the
overthinker, No matter the communicator is great,

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they're still gonna overthink, like,
oh, you thought you thought too

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much of that answer. You had
that one waiting. It's not gonna work.

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Wow, it's so negative. Not
here, you set us an overthinker.

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They're gonna overthink. So I think
everything is planned. That's that was

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too perfect. He was ready for
that. That's not necessarily overthinking. What

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do you call overthinking? I'm an
overthinker here? You are? Okay?

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So you don't think you being a
good communicator helps with my overthinking? No,

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because you still overthink. You'll overthink
the thought that the great communicator just

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communicated. I don't agree. So
you think that. I think like if

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you go missing for three hours when
I know you just left fork and it

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takes twenty minutes to come home,
that something's happened. Yeah, I'm gonna

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be thinking something happened. Oh my
god. If you communicate yo, the

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tire blowout, I'm getting a tire
fixed, then I'm good. No,

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you got to be a great communicator. So so if I say, oh,

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the tire blew out, got to
get a new tire, that's okay,

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that works. Yeah, because I
know you're not dead on the side

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of the road because it takes you
twenty minutes to get home. Why are

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you not here in two hours?
But if you're overthinking and you're thinking like,

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okay, the tire blew out,
yeah, okay, how about no,

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No, No, that's mistrusting.
You taken mistrusting for overthinking. Don't

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confuse the two. Well, clearly, if you overthinking, then theres no

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trust. Absolutely not. Why not, That's not how it works because you

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can't automatically tie the two together.
Why do I have to communicate to you

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at the point where okay, it
was three half hours, like you,

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What if I decided to go for
a drink after and I just neglected to

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tell you, and then when I
got home I told you. If I

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know that it takes you twenty minutes
to come home, and you ain't said

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you going nowhere, Then I'm going
to think something happened to you. What

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if your phone died, I'm going
to think something happened to you. Okay,

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well, then that's what you think. But then when the person gets

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home and you say, then I'm
going to be upset that you didn't communicate

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that I was going out for a
drink. But I just communicated my phone

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died, so I couldn't tell you
that I was going on. Now,

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you could have texted me from somebody
else phone. What Why am I gonna

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text you from somebody else's phone so
I know you're not dead? Because I'm

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an overthinker, like, what is
the problem here? And then when I

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text you from somebody else's phone,
you don't think you're gonna overthink, well,

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why is he texting me from so
and So's phone? No, because

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you're gonna be like, Yo,
my phone is dead. I'm here with

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such and such, I'm getting drinks. I'll be home in a minute.

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It sounds a great communicator, It
sounds good in theory, but I can't

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see you're mixing up someone that's mistrusting. It's not I'm not mixing it up

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because the overthinker is gonna overthink why
is he calling from that phone? Yeah,

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are you kidnapped? That's my thought? Maybe are you being health for

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ransom? And so it never goes
to anything other than he was dead in

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the street or it was kidnapped.
No, not unless you've given me a

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reason to think it could be something
else, if you've given me a reason

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in the past. So you say, every overthinker their thought processes to the

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worst. Oh, he died.
It's never anything like I probably went off

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for a drink with his friends.
He probably stuck in traffic, maybe a

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tire blew out. All type of
thoughts run through their heads. As I

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am an extremist, so I go
get yo, he might be dead.

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That's me. So you being extremist. There are people are not as extreme.

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That's people that's in the middle of
Oh it don't take no three hours

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to come home. He must be
doing something. Why would you go to

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that if you ain't giving why would
you go to he's dead, Because that's

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where my mind goes. I rather
think you dead than doing something. Same

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way you go to he's dead.
The same way somebody can go to he's

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doing something. Somebody that goes to
he's doing something, is probably going to

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that because he's done something in the
past. Now, if you've done something,

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No, if you've done something in
the past, that's where my mind

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will go. If you've never done
anything, I'm thinking, Oh my god,

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he's hurt, he's injured, something
happened. Something can't be right.

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He doesn't do this. So let's
say this great communicator has communicated before.

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Then sometimes the tarblows out, or
sometimes I go out with friends. Why

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do you have think? No,
if you're normal, is yo, I'll

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take a drink out back before I
go home, and I don't see when

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twenty minutes, Then my thought would
be he might have went out to take

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a drink. Now, if you
don't come home in a time that you

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normally take a drink, Oh shit, did he go take too many drinks?

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Did he run off the side of
the road. Is he dead?

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I don't know. To me,
Like I said, the overthinker is not

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gonna just think the extreme. They
died. That's why I was concerned.

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That's my thought process. I'm talking
about me in that in that particular instance.

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So it always let me. So
what about you? If I come

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home by nine o'clock every night and
you don't see me. Don't you text

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to see yo, what happened?
You're good? Right? Check if you're

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good? Right, I don't.
I don't sit there and be like,

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uh, she probably died. I
know you work late, so I'm like,

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all right, well, let me
see how long it's gonna before you

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come home. It's just checking in
and make sure show you that I'm concerned,

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Like, okay, I just want
to make sure you are right.

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But are you concerned? You're saying
it like like it's a show. I

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ain't saying it like sure, I'm
saying like all right, you know it's

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going past your usual time. You
know, everything all right with you?

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You know, because you you and
your little clausophobia, so you could have

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been stuck on the train and passed
out. Someone got trying to run my

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business though, because that's what it
is. You share sharing this care.

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We ain't gotta share everything. Okay, well you know it's not clasophobic.

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But yeah, if you don't say
something and you leave my mind to run,

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or if I'm calling and you don't
pick up, then I go to

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the worst, like, oh my
god, he's dead. Well my kids,

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my kids I'll be like, oh
shit, they got kidnapped, they're

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being hell hostage somewhere. Answer me, so I know you're not dead.

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That's me. Okay. There's a
lot of people out there that think like

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that. I don't know about the
stop it. That's the end of it,

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like, oh they're dead, that's
it. I'm pretty sure it goes

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to more of a must be with
somebody else instead of going to a natural

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like maybe he had a drink with
them, with his people. Maybe he's

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doing this. Maybe he's stuck in
traffic because I've been stuck in traffic for

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three hours and it's twenty minutes to
get home. But I'm not gonna sit

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there like, hey, I'm stuck
in traffic, be there because I don't

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know what's I'm gonna be there,
so it ain't gonna be no conversation.

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Like in five minutes checking in,
still stuck in traffic, guess what still

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behind the same car. That's curteous, though it's not. It's curteous to

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be like, yo, the Lincoln
is missed up, the Holland is meursed

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up, the George Washington is fucked
is jacked. I say it, then

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that's what it is like, Okay, I gotta keep repeating. Nobody asked

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you to keep repeating it. You
said, great communicator, so great communicating

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you a communicating. No, that's
not what it means. You see,

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I think you're the problem. I
don't think so. I think you're the

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problem that these people are referring to. Mind you. We got this from

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Instagram, y'all. I think he's
the problem because you're thinking that they're asking

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you to report every thirty minutes where
they at. No, that's not what

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they're looking for. That's what they're
looking for. But I'm saying that's not

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gonna happen. Yo. You know, damn. I said I'm gonna be

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there at six. It's six thirty. Yo, My bad. This ain't

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working out or this happened. Why
wouldn't you just say that? Right?

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But see that that's that's different than
checking in every five seconds? Like I

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just said, ain't nobody asking you
to check in every five minutes? Why

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do you think that an overthinker needs
that because they're overthinking all the time between

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because they're gonna keep checking you.
So you're still in Do I do that?

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Yeah? What? Yes? Oh
my god? Too much? It's

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a good thing. It's a normal
video, so they can't see on my

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face again. Have I done that? No? Okay, And I'm telling

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you I'm an overthinker. I go
straight to oh my god, they're dad.

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But I've never done that. No, you've never like consciousness. Were

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you still doing traffic? He still
done this? Are you still doing that?

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I've never done that, So don't
say that. All overthinkers go to

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you gotta check in every five minutes, or you gotta do that. That's

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not what it is. They just
want you to let them know what's up.

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Don't leave me thinking you dead at
the side of the road. Yeah,

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but see so so well, So
you're saying like you've never like,

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Okay, he's five minutes over his
normal time. I'm gonna checking him.

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Have I checked on you five minutes
over? Yes, five minutes, like

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five minutes, five ten minutes you
normally here by now? Was you cooking

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or bringing food? I was walking
up the way coming in with food.

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Was I waiting to eat? No, because that because that's that might be

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a factor. It wasn't waiting for
nothing, Sure, I wasn't waiting.

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I wasn't waiting for some nothing.
It wasn't waiting for nothing like you normally

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hear by this time? Why you're
not here? But did I call you

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before that? Okay, like five
minutes after the time I'm normally there,

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all right, So I was checking
on you. You you gott you gotta

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let something happen. You gotta get
I did five minutes. According to you,

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five minutes ain't enough time. You
on a dark back road back there.

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That stretch coming in by us is
dark. And I checked on this

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particular time. It was during the
day. I wasn't yes what particular was

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talking abot. I was walking up
and he was like, oh, you

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ain't here. You usually get here
by this. I think I went to

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the range or something like that.
What And and I took a picture and

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sent it to you. I was
like, I'm looking at this gopher right

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here, and then set you a
picture. How long ago was that?

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I can assure you, guys,
I must have been waiting for food and

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he was taken too long. He
was not waiting for food. I'm pretty

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sure if he went somewhere and it
was during the day and I was here,

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I was waiting for him to come
and feed me, and he was

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taken too long. All right,
I'll let you tell it. You got

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it. You gotta go with that. I don't check up on you like

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that. I don't, but I
can and you can get ignored. Would

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you ignore me? Yeah, if
you keep checking up on me. No,

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I'm checking once. Once you keep
checking up, I'm gonna keep checking

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up for you. If you keep
checking up on me, be like,

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So he must have died because I
stop. Stop. Uh, you're gonna

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stop community you you you're not even
gonna go to good. You're gonna stay

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at average. Don't expect great because
because great t you is ten times a

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day, that's what you consider great
communication. No great communicator is saying what

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it is and then that's it.
Okay, but the overthinker is gonna overthink.

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Oh my god, I'm gonna take
it too far. He sounded like

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the overthinker. Now, huh,
what y'all say, guys? Not at

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all? Okay anyway, So but
you just said an overthinker and a great

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communicator, it don't matter. It's
not gonna work. The relationship is not

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gonna work. So it's our relationship
not gonna work because I'm overthinker exactly,

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all right, And on that note
and what no you said, what it

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is? I'm not asking no more
questions. I'm moving on. I'm about

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to end the show because it ain't
gonna work. All right, Well,

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we're gonna keep living life, laughing. Maybe later, yar,