S3E3 - Categorized

0:01 What up, guys, is your girl Lady Stinger and we're back with another episode of Gem's and Tonic. Today we are talking about the five categories that men put women into, and your boy Rob doubts me that I'm not gonna get the categories correct. He may be right. But there's the desperate girl, right, there's the good time girl, okay, there's the good enough girl okay, there's the dream girl okay, and there's the out of your lead girl. All right, all right, now let's talk about it. What we're gonna preface the whole preface, preface, the whole conversation on is that people have said that Beyonce is not jay Z's dream girl. She is the out of your lead girl for him. And your man Rob here does not agree with that because he went with the fact that, but jay Z always have money and I don't think that it's just that. But he's had He's always had money and status just as long as she's had it. Mmmm.

1:08 He was he was he who he was before she became who she was. How not it was it was I think equally she she blew up and surpassed him. I think quicker. And he's she's beach, larger audience, more endorsements. He I believe, saw the potential in her to again lift him up and make his brand bigger, and jumped on that bandwagon, which is what the audi e league girl supposedly does. She brings prestige to you, and I think she did do that for him. And I feel like him, being business savvy, being the businessman that he is, saw that recognized it and capitalized off of it. I wouldn't say that he didn't choose someone that was gonna elevate him, not elevate him, but can walk the same carpet with him. I don't think he like if you if you mentioned like there's very few rappers that you can mention that everybody knows, and he will be one of those ones. Like his name would be in anybody in everybody's mouth, whether it be from the ghetto to the hoity toity now, not even then, not when they started dating. When did they start dating

2:39 a long long time? Yeah? Thanks, let me see when they started dating a long long time? Yeah? That that helps. You don't have time to be researching. You need to come with your facts. You need to be ready for the debate. I'm ready for the debate. I just want to. I want you because you're sitting this made Destiney child. Can you keep up? Baby bye? Bring the noise back? Then, long long time. So in two thousand they got together. Mm hmmm. How old is Beyonce? M maybe forty two? You think she's forty forty two?

3:23 Yeah, you know, I'm not part of the beehive. Sorry, guys, I don't know the fact she's forty two. Look, so twenty two, right, m h that's when she started becoming she was already Beyonce. Okay, so carrying Destiny's child. When did Destiny's Child start m when she was like seventeen? Okay, that we got you know, oh Destiney child. Say my name, Say my name? So jay Z's fifty four, thirty four, You don't think he was already established, well established?

4:04 What do you mean well established? To find well established? That's when he met her, well established, like a household name, No, a local name. You think jay Z was local New York? Yeah? Thirty four? Yeah, okay, so now he went. What gives you the the feeling that jay Z was local at thirty four? Because that's how I feel. And if that's how I feel. I can imagine that, that's how quite a few others feel who were not hardcore rap fans. So he put out his first record in ninety six and I wasn't listening to that, and he put out a record like every year after that, And you don't think that name how many people put out mixtapes every year, But we are like the critically acclaimed albums. Now, well, some of them were underrated at the time, okay, but they he wasn't reaching the audience and the genre that he was reaching till what's the Ride of Die Song? Tupac song that they did over him and Beyonce all I mean, mean, what year was

5:35 that and who did that? She did that? She brought that attention for him? You think that, yeah, absolutely, she helped him reach a completely different audience. I don't think she helped him reach a different, completely different audience, like I said, because you know, we're varying away from what we're supposed to be discussing and now we having a rap battle and I can't win that one because I'm not that burst. But I'm the business aspect I got. But I can't tell you years the albums and what the sales did, and et cetera, et cetera. But gad, you're looking up a fact. Hit us with the fact before I move on to the fact that she's not his dream girl, but his out of the league girl that you know, pulled him up a little bit more. Because I believe she did that. I believe the the union did that. I can't see how when they met and she was nineteen, two years into her career. Who said it was two years? You just said she was seventeen. I guess, just like I guessed her age. When did Destiny's Child hit the map?

7:00 I guessed, let's see, Destiny's Child was I'm seeing some twenty fifteen numbers. What else you say that they ended in six When did they come out? They came out in ninety eight? Okay, so two years. Again, in two years, you think that she became more than what he was? Yes, four years, absolutely, yes, yes. Think about the audience. I'm thinking about the audience. Think about who she was, who she attracted. Okay, she attracted the dudes that's listening to the rap and the white America, Black America, the Southern Texans who was riding with their girl from over there New Yorker's liked everybody jay Z was, Brooklyn, Texas wasn't hollering jay Z. So jay Z sold over forty five million albums by that time. Okay, you don't think how much they sold. Let's see, we're clearly gonna have to do a part two to this because we're

8:31 not getting to the facts. Come on now, don't give me no dead air. What he got butterfingers. He can't pull up the facts quick because I'm trying to figure out what mm hmm, yeah, exactly more than sixty million, um sixty million? Uh huh? Which forty five sixteen forty five sixty What does that mean? Two years? Four years? Drag him up, I reach a big audience. He recognized the potential in her and jumped on that, and it did boost him. But don't care what you say.

9:28 It didn't necessarily boost them, but it could because you're saying they're talking about two different demographics. People that are buying Destiny Child are not necessarily buying rap albums. My point. So, even if he didn't do it with her, he did. He did album a record, a whole album with r Kelly. You don't think that hit him with a broader audience. It tapped into something. It's still not what he say was tapping into. Beyonce had white America, the people paying for these albums, so let's let's put it in, and they got Black America, the people who are waiting for ninety records on the radio. Beyonce and jay Z never got together. You think jay Z would be less? Yes, I absolutely do. You don't think he would be a billionaire by now? No, nope. I can't agree with that, okay, because once you separate the two, his status is an elite status. Her status is an elite status, and you can again walking in the same wane. Okay, I can't see how you would not see that he would get to the upper echelon without her. You don't think he can have anybody and carry anybody with him? This is Brooklyn talking.

10:54 I just want y'all to know. But he got Brooklyn on his back right now? What they I don't think I disagree with you. I do not think he can put anybody on his back and carry them. No, I don't. I don't. He can't mean he can't put anybody on his back. That's what you asked me, So you don't think that anybody that he would have been with he would still be the same person. No, No, that's that's what I'm saying. No, all right, well, I mean that's your opinion, right, we're all one, and clearly yours is off the wall again because he was he was already established. He was, he's the elite in the rap game and has crossed barriers because he has the clothing, he has the liquor you know he has. You don't think she influenced all of that? Why? Why? How was she influenced?

11:54 They're together so oh so she said, hey, you should get a liquor and he was like, no, how about when he was when he was promoting Ace of Spades, he was like, why am I pulling somebody else's I want my own? Looker, that's when he got his own. You know, she wasn't having pillow talking, told him that ain't bigger, shoot higher. So you know what, let me let me, let's bring you up, think larger, because she's the out of your league girl. Letting him know that if you want to stay with me, you need to have your own. Stop working for these people. We need to create this legacy because I believe her management would have been saying that, a ka, Mommy and Daddy. Well, as you look up your facts and your statistics, can we get back to the matter of hand. The five categories agree or disagree? Did this five categories? Yes? Do you agree with those five categories? Okay? Why do y'all do that? Why do they do that?

13:01 Why does anybody separate anything? Because some people are just like, everybody has an opinion on somebody else. Now, my ugly may not be your ugly. My cue may not be your cue. Some people put people in different categories and they might even be in the right categories. You said, they might not even be in the right categories. Yeah, they might not even be in the right categories. Some people put people in categories thinking like, oh, I'm out of their league. Meanwhile, they out of your league. You know, Like people always believe that they are at least one or two rungs higher than what they are, two rungs in the categories than they are, Like how many how many people do you know? They walk around and be like, yeah, I'm ugly, but I'm out of people's league. You thought. Some people that admit that shit, they know they ugly, so they got hello personality and they rock with hell of personality.

13:58 Yeah, but they don't they don't necessarily say like they don't believe that they're not in a league. They will still try. I've seen plenty of ly guys get beautiful women just because of they had money or they had good game, right because they knew they were ugly, so they had to have one or the other. But they don't necessarily believe that they're out of somebody's league. But they are definitely playing out of their league. Okay, So when categorizing someone, what makes them the the fun check or the I'm just you know, I'm just hitting you up for because remember we got the desperate check.

14:39 So you know, you're not hitting up the desperate check, but you're taking the desperate chicks calls every now and again, like you had. You told us, you told the audience back in the day that who was the desperate check. No, you just said you have to dump somebody at the restaurant. She wasn't necessarily that we weren't getting along. That had nothing to do. You know, I'm trying to think I'm trying to run back through you know, because I know some people that it was with people for chicken. I'm just saying you will that, And that's what they said. The desperate chick is the one that's that you call when you only want something and she's trying to, you know, give you this, this, that, and give you stuff to make you be with her. That's the desperate chick.

15:33 She's always getting you up. She's trying to give you this, give you that. In an nex, that's the desperate chick. So what makes someone the good time chick? The one you only hooking up with and hooking up with out of town. You don't want to be seen with her, but but you could have a good time with her or make someone a good time chick. I mean if they if you're going by the way they're categorized, well you agree with the category. The time chick would be the one that she's not the cutest thing, she ight not have, you know, the best body, but she is still like when you when you're around her, you can have a good time. You can you know, you can get a little bit of you on late night. You can. You may even be like, how about we go to like a getaway in like a Pennsylvania or something like that. She can she can get a little out of town trip. But it doesn't necessarily mean, you know, like she's she's just not somebody that you want around all the time. But because she's not the cutest. No, it's just it's something to do when it's nothing to do, something to do and is nothing to do? You have, you have? You know people, let me call shorty up. I want to do something, but I don't want to be I don't want anybody to think

17:07 more than what it is. Like if I want to take somebody and go away, who can I take? But you know, it's like I don't want to be I'm not in a relationship with you, and I don't want you to think me in a relationship. But you know you're gonna be my plus one for the weekend. Okay, we'll make someone the good enough chick. And do you have a relationship with the good enough check? Yeah, you have a you have a different relationship, Like it depends on where you're at in your life. If you are more like I'm gonna settle down mm hmm, then the good enough chick can be somebody who settled down with uh huh. Okay, So why would you settle down with the good enough chick and not your dream girl, you can sell it. No, you settle down with you dream anywhere for good enough to to you're settling down with you can settle down with like you you don't. You don't settle lower than that.

18:08 You don't settle down with the fund ship and definitely chick. So from good enough to out of your league, it's somebody you can settle down with. Oh interesting, And does the relationship hit the same with the good enough chick that it will with the dream girl chick or the out of elite chick? Yeah? Why not? Because one is good enough and one is what you really want and the other one is who what you aspire the person you aspire to be to be with this person. Well, the different levels of the women just kind of dictate which how you're going to be. Like if you're if you're that, I'm just gonna settle then you can go from the Then you go with the good enough, good enough check. If you have different aspirations, you go with the dream girl. So what aspirations must one have to go with the dream girl and not settle for a good enough chick?

19:06 The aspirations that you know you have to keep to be able to keep the dream girl and then be able to get the girls just out of your league. Wait, so now you're using the dream girl to get the girl's out of You're not using her to get but I'm saying, but that's that's where that springboard will go from. Like I can get my dream girl. Like I'm with my dream girl, but now I need somebody out of my league because I aspired to be more. I'm more now, So go out of my league. Technically, you be using the good enough chick to get to your dream girl. You don't have to. You can stay with the dream girl. See and she made sub consciously. You just said you can stay with the dream girl. I asked you about the good enough chick. Can you talk about the dream girl? No, I said all of them.

19:47 I just told you all of them you can stay with. Right, But you're talking about catapultans. So are you gonna use the good enough chick to catapult yourself to your dream girl? No? No, you can't catapult yourself for that. Why not because the good enough chick you you're settling. You are settling, So there's nothing I'm not looking for. Oh you know, try to get this amazing woman like I'm cool with it, like where I am in my life, you know, So you don't have those aspirations to hit that dream girl status. You just I'm good, like I know, I know my my laying and I'm gonna stay in it. You don't have to necessarily want to, you know, like most people will not will not go too far above their league, you know, like it depends on your personality if you if you feel like you can handle it, then you know you'll reach that I want that dream girl. But we're talking to you, so oh we're talking to man. Please league go out of my league all the time. Here we go with the b as. I'm shooting shots all over the place, bust shots here, bust shots there. But that's not it has nothing to do with me thinking me. It's not nothing to do with anything but me knowing who I am as far as my personality like it has like I'm I don't even look at looks because if if if I

21:23 had an accident tomorrow, looks or go wait, you don't look at whose looks? Your looks looks like? Because I was about to say you straight capping as the young people say if you were saying you don't consider that, not that I mean I don't. I don't consider looks like like looks or not in the forefront. For me, looks help, but they're not because again I might miss an opportunity with somebody because of a look. And then again, who's saying that I'm everybody's cup of tea? So I'm not. This person's like, how do I turn around and say, well, I'm better than you? I don't feel like that. So there's not a look standard because I've had it where I thought I was a man and mother would be like, oh, no, you're not, and shoot me down.

22:18 I'm like, how back to the drawing board, you know. And then of course later on they'd be like, oh, you know, I didn't know you were that cool. Oh see, you didn't get me a shot because you went off of what you thought I was, what you perceived me to be. So, like I said to me, it's not about looks. It's more about a personality. Like a personality'll send you over the top. Okay, so what is dream girl status for you? What do they encompass? It's not looks, No, it has somebody has a head, a good head on their shoulders and has aspirations and want to do more, Like what at this age you have to build, like to get like like there's property or business or something like that. They don't have to be like I'm it doesn't definitely not like oh I wanted somebody to be to get the marriage and and you know, and have the four kids in the house.

23:23 And the already got four kids in the house, so you know, it's like that's not the standard. The standard is like, okay, what more can there be? So you said business aspirations, Business aspirations basically money financial financial goals, right, like like I'm cool with like I'm not necessarily just cool staying here, but I want to get a little bit more or get a lot more. But you want to get more like you, I want to I want to be comfortable. I want to keep I want to keep moving forward, not staying stagnant. So that's it. That's it what I was asking what all encompasses the dream girl fa Yeah, that pretty much is it? Because anything else is superficial to me, Like looks a superficial body is a superficial you know, like although that's superficial, I want that that personality, and that that that mindset that it's like okay, because you can only talk to a war so long before you be like, all right, I can't do this anymore. So you have to have something that you can bounce the idea off of. All right, and what's your out of out of league person? Look like, what's my There's not an out of league person that looks like anything to me, Like, I don't see anybody as out of my league. Now. The reality is people will be like, oh, well, this type of person is out of your league. But

24:56 I think if you sat me in a room with a person, chip away at them now, and if they like, if they can put everything other things aside, like if it wasn't if they believed in certain things like let's say they believe that I had this kind of money or I had this kind of power, if they put all of that aside, and they were just going off for personality and look, I don't think there's anybody out of my leage personality and look mean and look and looks, oh you think you're that cute. I know I'm not cute. What the hell this conversation? Just now? What the hell you just said looks don't matter what it don't matter.

25:41 I said, like, looks don't matter to me, Like I'm not, I'm not stuck on. Hey, I look amazing, and you know you have to you have to want me because I look amazing. But that's what you just say. If they could go on personality and looks right, personality, it looks, I think they're not anyone that's out of my leap, Like I'm I'm I'm I'm confident enough in myself that I don't think there's anybody out of my leap. You know, delusion is a thing and it can be all right, okay, Right, So there's there's the five categories. You say they exist. They are definitely a thing. They're definitely a thing, and through the five categories change with age. I'm pretty sure.

26:33 I'm pretty sure that if fifty and up be like, you know what, the desperate girl is looking kind of good right now. Wow, you go to the bottom of the room and be like wow, you know, like you're looking for companionship that desperate girl, you know, fulfill that need. You should never lower your standards. I didn't say me. If we're talking to you, you are our guinea pig in this and this you are to do with me? Now? I'm still standing on three and higher? What what you got? Now? Where are you at? Yeah? Where you at? You at good enough? I'm at one. You said three higher?

27:23 Yeah, well I settled. Don't be trying to tell nobody out there. I'm a desperate chick. There's no way, no way you want to rephrase that. Let's let's clear it up for the people. No, you you were definitely I could put you at a four. You're definitely a dream girl because you know you have the aspiration. What war you lucky? You got four? You could have got a three? Why would I get a three? Because you just like that four? Like you think you that you? Oh so wait, you're the only one in this relationship that's supposed to have confidence. No, I don't know. Oh, because your girl is confident, No doubt about that. There's no doubt in my mind that you're not confident. I'm not confident that you. I mean that you are.

28:17 Well you see what I do not at all? All right, you are one under confident. Yeah. It took a lot to get because I'm like, you're not confident? No, you are confident? Okay, all right, well, thanks for clearing up the categories for us, and you know, letting us know that you guys automatically put us in a box, and we don't automatically put your all the box. Y'all put yourselves in the boxes. Yeah, y'all do, y'all put yourselves in the boxes. We just have the label. Is that right? That's right? Like y'all sit there, y'all know who y'all are when y'all step up. Okay, So I automatically was in a dream girl box when I holler yeah really yeah, because you you you had the confidence already, you had the aspirations. You were who you were before you met me, So it had nothing to do with me. So like if it was me or somebody else, you would have still been one hundred confident in yourself. Okay, so you already you already have your box. So you don't think people change based on who they're dealing with, Like you don't think for somebody else, I might be the good

29:49 enough or the fun girl, because I'm sure I've been somebody's fun girl in life, but that would probably be something that you choose. Like you, you, I don't think you were the type of person that would be like, I want to be the fun girl, unless you wanted to be the fun girl. If you had, if you had an idea like I want to be I want to be in this relationship, then you would have been that dream girl with the aspirations. But they wasn't necessarily on that page. But you chose, you know what, I'm gonna go ahead and be the fun girl or a good enough girl. So you're trying to say, again, that is on me to be that that that person chooses which level they want to play at. Women, right, you're saying men can't put them in a box that they don't allow themselves to be in. You're saying the women will not allow men to put them in the box that they do not choose to put them in a box, any box that they want to put them in it. But woman to be allowed to Okay, this is the box that you're gonna put me in. She has to ask for it, not you know, but she has to command. Okay, Well, I thought she was the you know, the good time girl, but clearly she's a dream girl. So her actions will dictate what box she's actually in.

31:26 Even if you had miscategorized her, right, Okay, you could have you could. You can easily miscategorize you trying to follow her in the desperate but then you realize, now she's just to go get her and I was seeing it wrong. Okay, all right, good talk. I like this one. This was this one was insightful. Yeah, anyway, we're gonna wrap it up. That was another episode of Gems and Tonic. I think we got hit with a couple of gems tonight. I mean, you're gonna keep living life and laughing at it. Yeah. Later, two suits